Once married always married?
But unfortunately sneaky little things can come in
and corrupt a good marriage.
Our job is to stay alert.
We must build hedges of protection around our marriages!
We must stop any notions of stepping outside of marriage the moment the thought creeps inside our head or hearts.
We need to protect our homes and our marriages!
It’s the devilish devise of the enemy to destroy every good and godly thing- particularly the union of marriages.
Here’s a list of 15 things that stand as warning signs that an affair could happen:
1. Looking for ego boosters outside of your marriage.
Beware of leaning outside your marriage to find love, appreciation, or a listening ear.
2. Neglecting to talk to each other.
3. Building walls instead of resolving issues.
4. Neglecting date nights. Children do not come first. Your marriage does!
Children need parents who love each other -its the best gift you will ever give them!
5. Not going to bed together.
Sleeping in separate rooms or not going to bed at the same time
drives a wedge in any marriage
6. Forgetting your commitment to each other.
Go back and re-read your vows!
You simply don’t bail out during the bad times!
7. Withholding sex or using it as reward or punishment.
8. Speaking down to each other. Showing little respect for thoughts and feelings.
Words like, “You always, and You never…!”
9. Entertaining fantasy’s. Picturing yourself with someone else.
Affairs never “Just happen.” Most often they have been played out in
ones mind long before it happened.
10. Boredom. Nothing is being done to keep a freshness in your relationship.
You stop dating. You stop doing special little things for each other.
11. Wrong counsel. Having lunch with a bunch of women who sit around and bash-their-males will not help your marriage or your view of your husband. (vise-versa for males!) Seek counsel from those who genuinely want your marriage to succeed and who will pray for you and advise you accordingly. Don’t just talk to people who side with you and feel sorry for you. Find the friend, counselor, or Pastor who will tell you straight up what you need to do.
12. You test the waters. You start following people on social media, commenting on their statuses, send private messages, tease, flirt or compliment…testing the waters to see if anyone else out there would be interested in you.
13. Holding grudges for things they’ve done wrong in the past.
Unforgiveness or an unwillingness to move on.
14.Secrecy. Dishonesty. Keeping things from your spouse-intentionally.
Trust is the foundation of great marriages. When you intentionally shoot at the foundation you cannot be surprised when it crumbles!
15. Lack of attention. Many affairs start because one spouse is starving for attention they are not receiving in their marriage.
Most people marry for the simple reason they don’t want to be alone any more. They are ready for a life companion. They are ready to settle down and spend the rest of their life with one person.
But if or when they feel lonely…they reach in the wrong direction.
What therefore God has united (joined together), let not man separate or divide. Mark 10:9
Go right now and get your Wedding Photo Album.
Sit down together and reminisce about that special day.
Do you see how happy you were?
Remind yourselves why you married each other.
Name the qualities you loved about each other
-you loved those qualities enough to take their hand in marriage!
THAT person is still in there!
I am fully aware that there will be those instances where no amount of praying will change an unchanged heart. Those instances where no amount of counsel will change a wayward spouse. But you have to live with the regrets if you don’t try to save a marriage from ruin.
You have to live with the fact you did or did not do anything to prevent an affair.
So this advice is based on that fact.
Give your best. Love your most.
And if your absolute best was no good enough,
and they choose to leave anyway…
then you will have peace in knowing you tried
and then… you can move forward rebuilding your life.