Anger: Does the Whole World have to know?


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Stress.

Disappointment.
Disagreements.
Heavy work schedule.
Busy calendars.
Plans that failed.
Kids that won’t mind.
A spouse that doesn’t understand.
And as the day wears on
the angrier you become.
-the grouchier you get
Perhaps you are not really angry AT anyone.
But before the day is over
you are mad WITH everyone.
And the whole world knows.
We erase the smile.
We wear our feelings on our sleeves.
Why do we do that?
Perhaps we are
tired from a long busy week.
The house is chaotic.
There are bills you can’t afford to pay.
Repairs you can’t afford to fix.
Problems you can’t solve.
Answers you simply don’t have.
And suddenly 
no one can do anything right.
More often than not as women
our frustration takes root with something
other than the issue at hand.
For example…
  • Maybe I’m dealing with low self-esteem
  • Or I hate that I am over weight
  • Or I have health issues that leave me tired all the time
  • Or I have been comparing myself to someone else
  • Or I am jealous of others’ relationships, homes, income, etc…
  • I feel unappreciated
  • I am impatient with God
  • I am feeling inferior
  • Maybe you feel alone
Any one of these things will wear on us,
frustrate us, aggravate us,
and rob us of living a fulfilled life
 if we don’t 
learn to deal with them 
immediately and privately.
Once we are frustrated…
and then tired and frustrated… 
we get short fused with everyone, everywhere.
Work
Home
Church
With the spouse
with the children
with yourself
How do we stop?
First you MUST
Identify the source of your frustration.
 
If it’s not your spouse then tell them its not them.
If it’s really not the kids being all bad,
then explain that you need
some time alone from them to unwind.
If it’s because you are tired, take a nap.
If you’re tired of cooking, order out.
If you’re tired of cleaning let it go a day.
If it’s because you are frustrated with yourself…
take time to pray.
Start walking with a friend.
Go buy a new book.
Pick up a new hobby.
Stress is very real.
But there are ways to deal with it without
exploding all over people you love.
Take time to get alone.
Take a long drive.
Ask yourself if there are things you can change.
Make a plan to change those things.
Get on your knees and pray.
Find a quiet place you can have a good cry and
just confess to God you are weary.

Count all the blessings in your life.
Remind yourself it could always be worse.
At the very least
we have to stop ruining every one else’s day
because we are upset.
 
At the very least we have to
stop sending the kids to bed in
a fit of fury.
 
At the very least we have to stop
blaming our spouses for every bit of our unhappiness
 
Separate yourself for a few minutes
from whatever it is that
is causing you to be angry.
Listen to yourself.
When you hear that you are yelling
complaining, or speaking angrily-
stop yourself.
Take a step back, and say it again nicely,
or leave the room till you can.

Seek spiritual or medical counsel if necessary.
Talk to a good friend who will listen and not judge.
(One of our family secrets…)
I purposefully plan a 2-3 day getaway
every 3 months so we can break up monotony of schedules,
and to re-connect as a family and as husband and wife. 
Every body needs a change of pace
husbands as well as children.
Whether it’s a few hours
a day or a week.
We all understand
Life can be hard…
but there are things the whole world 
just doesn’t need to know!
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